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A meditation, but for money- Budgeting.

Hey, 

I really struggle with knowing what to post about next. So many ideas! After much inner struggle, I decided to post about budgeting, or really expense tracking. Scroll to the end for the gist of it all. 

Some people don't like to budget, and for others, it's the only thing that keeps them on track, but the one thing I know about most successful savers is they understand what is happening with their money, whether they use a budget or something else. There are many different ways to keep a budget. Some people use apps, some a simple spreadsheet, and others simply use pen and paper. Many times, people only budget when they are saving for something specific. Going on a trip? Create a Budget. Buying a car? Make a budget. Going back to school? Budget. But too often that is the extent of budgeting. If we aren't saving for something in the near future, we aren't thinking about where our money goes, and a lot of times, this can lead to not having any savings or even going into debt. I know this was true for me.

I was, at one point, in a little bit of credit card debt. Back when I only had a couple of credit cards, I had something like $5,000 in debt. I was making payments, more than a minimum, but I didn't understand how much money I was throwing away by keeping a balance. I was in school, I was working, and I was spending on all the things I thought I deserved. The balance only got higher, and I justified it with being able to pay it all off when I got a real job or won the lottery (jk).  It wasn't till I graduated and moved back home that I made a real plan to pay off this debt. After the debt was paid, I stopped saving again went back to living paycheck to paycheck and struggling to stay out of debt. For me, though, it wasn't because I had to, it was because I chose to give in to the societal pressures of consumerism and materialism. I was just living above my means. It really wasn't till the recent year that I really started tracking my spending and trying to stick to a budget. What changed in my life is explained in my first post. 

When I first started budgeting, I really struggled with sticking to it. I still find it really hard honestly, I am just slightly better at it now. I hated seeing when I went over an allowed amount on something, and when that would happen, I would feel defeated and give up the rest of the month. It took me a while to realize what budgeting should actually do for you. Because I had always used it for a specific goal, I thought of budgeting as a restrictive thing. When there is a goal, like buying a plane ticket, it is tolerable, but when there isn't, it can be unsustainable. It's a lot about the mindset. It's like dieting. If it is based on a single goal, what happens when you reach that goal? Often, you stop the diet. "Oh, the wedding happened, I can go back to eating normal now," and all the weight comes back. You see the parallel. A budget has to be sustainable, just like a diet does. 

I think a lot of the first step is accepting where you are. The first few roller-coaster months of trying to budget were me trying to restrict myself from spending. I was struggling to stay on track and felt discouraged and miserable. Nobody told me how to do it, everyone just says you have to do it. I think everyone needs to go through this discomfort to some degree, but maybe this will help you not be so hard on yourself. Tracking my expenses eventually became something more of an awareness, a meditation, but for money. When you meditate, you aren't trying to control your thoughts or make your mind empty (although many think that is what you are supposed to do). You are simply becoming aware of them, noticing them, and letting them pass. That is how I think of my budget now. If I look at my spreadsheet, I know exactly what I am spending my money on. I can't be shocked or surprised if I don't have as much in my savings as I was expecting, because I made the choices to spend more than I should have. Tracking my expenses shows me what I prioritize, then I can reflect on that and ask myself if it is true to me or not. If it isn't, I will use that thought to change what I do in the coming months. I also noticed that if I just felt terrible about spending over my budget but didn't reflect on where I "messed up," things didn't change the following months. I told myself I'll do better, and then do just as bad. When I knew I went over budget, I would continue my tracking, but try to ignore the totals, and ignore the numbers. Things only changed when I really just owned up to everything I was doing. I spent $30 over on take-out? How much did that set me back? Was that meal worth it or essential? Would I do it again? How can I plan differently to allow for it if I did think it was worth it? 

A lot of people don't want to start budgeting because they know they are spending above their means and want to avoid facing it. Budgeting doesn't have to make you feel miserable or guilty (and guess what, if you are complaining about not being able to afford anything, it doesn't sound like you are very happy anyway). It can make you come to terms with the things you prioritize in life. 

Here is the point of this post. If you are unhappy with how things are, financially, you have to be aware of where your money is going for things to change. If you don't, then you can't expect your money situation to change. Even people who make well over six figures can still be living paycheck to paycheck because they are just mindlessly letting money go in and out of their accounts. But being aware of where your money is going doesn't have to be deprivation experience. I recommend starting off by simply tracking. Don't make any plans to restrict anything, keep track of how much you spend on everything. If you see how much it all is and think it's outrageous, then make a plan, but be reasonable. If you see everything you are spending and feel good about it all, but still don't feel good about your money situation, then you have two options: make more, or own it and feel good about your life. 

That was quite a ramble. This blog really should be called, rambles to somewhere. I really feel like I could have articulated this much better, so there may be a similar post in the future, but for now... Thanks for reading! 

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